


The Only Sane Ones

by daitsukidesu



Category: Free!, Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Also there are typos, At least no one dies, Done on purpose, Gen, IT ISN'T ACTUALLY A WARNING BUT BEWARE CENSORED SWEARING, It's supposed to be comedic but idek, No Plot/Plotless, Not exactly plotless but pretty much, THEY'RE CENSORED BUT, they are there, what even is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daitsukidesu/pseuds/daitsukidesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the only one who isn't completely crazy in a high school sports team isn't easy. Luckily, Sugawara Koushi has it handled.</p><p>By creating a group chat for 10 supposedly sane members of sports teams he knows of.</p><p>Whether or not they really are as sane as they thought they were, Yamaguchi Tadashi wasn't sure. But he had to admit that it was nice to see he wasn't the only one stuck with the strangest teammates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Furihata Screams and Yamaguchi Just Wants Practice

**Author's Note:**

> I... this came to me one day while reading fanfics. I have no idea what it actually is but it felt like it would be interesting to write so I wrote it. I've no idea how many chapters this will be or if I'll even complete it but at least writing it is fun.
> 
> Okay, now on to the actual notes.  
> There is no set timeline for the chapters. They'll go back and forth without warning and stuff but these are supposed to be random so that's that. However, everything Free!-related is Eternal Summer stuff.  
> The first name in the chapter title is the focus of the chat, and the second is the focus of the narrative.  
> Sorry if my censoring kinda destroys the flow of the story but I'm not really the swearing type but the characters are... sorry.  
> The way their names appear in their chat is based on how their names appear in the chapter character's contacts. The way they appear in the narrative part of the chapter is how said character refers to them. 
> 
> As for their years...
> 
> First Year:  
> Yamaguchi Tadashi (Haikyuu!!)  
> Furihata Kouki (Kuroko no Basket)
> 
> Second Year:  
> Akaashi Keiji (Haikyuu!!)  
> Ennoshita Chikara (Haikyuu!!)  
> Tsuchida Satoshi (Kuroko no Basket)  
> Nijimura Shuzo (Kuroko no Basket)
> 
> Third Year:  
> Sugawara Koushi (Haikyuu!!)  
> Yaku Morisuke (Haikyuu!!)  
> Mayuzumi Chihiro (Kuroko no Basket)  
> Tachibana Makoto (Free!)
> 
> That's all I think.

They were in the middle of practice and his phone was beeping non-stop, playing the customised ring tone he set for that one certain group chat for barely a second before it restarted again. Tadashi stared in horror at his bag for only a moment before he launched himself at it, running as quickly as he could to turn it to silent mode before Ukai and Takeda came to practice and berated him for the noisy distraction his phone presented to them all.

Tadashi spared a glance at the messages before dropping his phone back into his bag. It was mostly Furihata and Nijimura-san with a whole lot of caps, and he thought he saw some messages from Tsuchida-san, and an apology from Mayuzumi-san? That was unexpected. Weren’t some of the basketball Winter Cup matches today? Why were they busy texting?

Tadashi caught Sugawara-san, one of the only other two in the team who recognised the significance of the ringtone, staring at him in question and he could only answer with a shrug and a silently mouthed ‘basketball quartet’. The silver haired senior nodded in understanding before going back to practicing his serves.

If they ever talked about the group chat aloud, Tadashi, Ennoshita-san, and Sugawara-san were probably the only two in Karasuno who would understand about it, and really, they never wanted to speak of it verbally for fear the other members of the club would ask about it, somehow find out about it, and then roast them to a crisp.

After all, it was a group chat titled ‘The Only Sane Ones’, and it consisted of five volleyball players, four basketball players, and one swimmer. All ten in junior high and already subjected to stress from the weirdest teammates imaginable.

Sugawara-san was the founding member of the group. When he met Yaku-san during that first match against Nekoma, the two of them immediately clicked, bonding over apologies over their crazy teammates and their complaints about said teammates’ antics. It ended with Sugawara-san creating a group chat named ‘The Sane Trio’ with him, Yaku-san, and Ennoshita-san as the members. Apparently Ennoshita-san had always been complained about Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san to Sugawara-san, so he thought letting loose their frustrations in a group chat was better than nothing at all. A swimmer named Tachibana Makoto-san was soon added into the group, when he met Yaku-san during his trip to Tokyo. He had started out just talking to him about sports but immediately became a part of ‘The Sane Quartet’ when he ended up having to ask for directions from him to go to a fountain in a random park because “My juniors said our teammate is stripping again and I’m the only one who can stop him.” Not long after, Yaku-san remembered his friend Tsuchida Satoshi-san from Seirin. He played basketball and apparently, the basketball teams this year was just insane. The group went through another name change and became ‘The Sane Quintet’. Yamaguchi became part of the group after that, when he texted Sugawara-san complaints of Hinata and Kageyama’s craziness. With a frustrated emoticon sent at the eternally changing names, Sugawara-san renamed the group ‘The Only Sane Ones’. It was the right decision as, during training camp in Tokyo, they met another ally. Akaashi Keiji from Fukurodani was stuck with the most troublesome ace and it just didn’t seem fair to deprive him of a place to complain. Tsuchida-san added his junior, Furihata Kouki soon after. The final additions to the group were Nijimura Shuzo-san and Mayuzumi Chihiro-san, who Furihata had shared a table with at a café in Kyoto during the holidays. They ended up staring at a basketball magazine and complaining to each other, Mayuzumi-san about Akashi, who was his captain, and Furihata about all the Generation of Miracles he’s met so far. With a curse about ‘those d*mned brats he called his juniors’, Nijimura-san admitted that he was the captain of Teiko’s basketball club back in middle school and personally knew all of the Generation of Miracles. And he was not afraid to curse them out for their stupid acts.

That made ten of them, and they bonded through texts about their teammates weirdness. There wasn’t a day that passed since they were added into the group when their phones didn’t beep nonstop for at least an hour.

It was annoying at first, but now Yamaguchi could say that he was almost fond of it.

Practice went by without a hitch, the usual craziness showing themselves plenty of times. Once it was over, and they were showered and ready to go home, Yamaguchi took out his phone, and read what had the basketball players in such a ruckus.

 **Furihata:** HELP SENPAI EVERYONE ANYONE HELP

 **Tsuchida-san:** Did you find them?

 **Mayuzumi-san:** Oh? You’re looking for someone as well? If you see Akashi anywhere do inform me.

 **Furihata:** AKASHI STABBED KAGAMIS FACE WITH SCISSORS WHAT DO I DO

What? Wasn’t Akashi the leader of that Generation of Miracles the basketball players loved to complain about? He… how crazy were those guys?

Yamaguchi made a silent prayer that Karasuno would never come across someone like this Akashi they spoke of.

 **Nijimura-san:** WHAT

 **Mayuzumi-san:** Oh.

 **Furihata:** KAGAMI DODGED BUT

 **Nijimura-san:** HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE SANE ONE

 **Makoto-san:** Kouki, please tell me that was a joke.

 **Makoto-san:** Shuzo too.

 **Nijimura-san:** HE IS THE LEADER

 **Nijimura-san:** HE WAS A SANE AND CONSIDERATE PLAYER

 **Nijimura-san:** WHO CARED FOR PEOPLE’S SAFETY

 **Furihata:** IM NOT JOKING WHERE IS MAYUZUMI-SAN PLEASE SAVE ME

 **Nijimura-san:** AKASHI EXPLAIN

 **Makoto-san:** what

 **Furihata:** HELP ME SENPAI HES GOING TO NOTICE ME

 **Mayuzumi-san:** Sorry. Akashi will kill us if we interfere in anything he’s doing.

 **Tsuchida-san:** Now, now Furihata-kun. I’m sure you’re just overreacting a little bit.

 **Furihata:** SENPAI SAVE ME

 **Tsuchida-san:** I would but coach looks like she’ll have my head if I leave

 **Makoto-san:** omg what is basketball

 **Furihata:** SENOAI YOU TRAITOR

 **Furihata:** OHMYGOSH

 **Furihata:** HES LOOKING AT ME HES LOOKING AT ME

 **Mayuzumi-san:** I will pray for your life.

 **Ennoshita-san:** Furihata-kun, it sounds like you have a crush on him now.

Yamaguchi blinked. When did Ennoshita-san sneak off to send that? He double checked the time the message was sent to confirm that yes, they were in the middle of practice at that point. How?

He shrugged and didn’t question it any further.

 **Furihata:** HES GLARING AR ME WITH HIS TWO FCOLOURED EYES IM GONNA DIE

Two coloured eyes…?

 **Furihata:** And shut up ennoshita-san. Its not like that

 **Furihata:** HES GOINF TO KILL ME

 **Furihata:** AJKFAUNJKDSABJFIWJEOKELFVM

 **Furihata:** SENPAI HELP

 **Mayuzumi-san:** I apologise for my captain’s behaviour.

 **Furihata:** THATSNOTGOINGTOHELPMEHELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **Nijimura-san:** That little BRAT

 **Nijimura-san:** HOW DARE HE

 **Nijimura-san:** I HAVE HALF A MIND TO GO BACK TO JAPAN JUST TO STRANGLE HIM

 **Nijimura-san:** WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO CHANGE FROM A RELIABLE LEADER INTO THIS LITTLE MURDEROUS JERK

 **Mayuzumi-san:** Nijimura-san, he’s still a reliable leader.

 **Nijimura-san:** SHUT UP MAYUZUMI-SAN

Yamaguchi let out a little laugh at that.

 **Nijimura-san:** IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT HE’S TURNED INTO A- INTO A HAIZAKI

 **Nijimura-san:** A HAIZAKI SEIJURO

 **Akaashi-san:** Nijimura-san, none of us understand what you’re saying anymore.

 **Nijimura-san:** HOW DARE HE

From there all of the texts were basically Nijimura-san cursing his head off at the leader of the Generation of Miracles. Not bothering to read through all his threats and curses, Yamaguchi just sent them a reply, and put his phone away after reading Furihata’s and Tsuchida-san’s reply, heading for more practice on his serve with Shimada-san.

 **Tadashi:** He was attacked with scissors? Yikes. Hope that didn’t affect the match. How did it go by the way?

 **Tsuchida-san:** 101 – 100

 **Furihata:** We won!!! :D

He’ll congratulate them later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that huge chunk of text about how the group came to be by the way. I needed to get that out.  
> Also, Nijimura being overseas is something I literally just read from the wiki. Um... I'm not really clear on if he's with America with his father but I think he is so let's assume so hahaha  
> Yamaguchi seems like someone who'll respect people older than him even if they've never met thus the contact names.


	2. In Which Makoto Frets and Sugawara Laughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugawara probably shouldn't make jokes of Makoto's worry but he just couldn't help it.
> 
> (This chapter takes place during Episode 5 of Season 2 of Free!! The whole thing is a spoiler.)

It was a normal day, Sugawara had to admit, much quieter than usual but still relatively normal. Lunch has almost ended and not a single text of complaint had come from that group he’d grown so fond of. He himself hadn’t sent any today, his teammates having been much more controllable today than usual.

All things considered it seemed like it would be a considerably calm and normal day for all of them. A ring came from his phone and he sighed. Well, probably not.

**Tachibana Makoto:** I can’t believe them.

Sugawara tilted his head, wondering what had suddenly prompted Makoto to send them all this text. Ignoring the text saying that the swimmer was still typing, Sugawara quickly sent a question to him in reply.

**Koushi:** What happened?

It wasn’t long before he received a reply.

**Tachibana Makoto:** See, Haru likes taking cold baths in the mornings sometimes when he can’t swim. And if I don’t stop him he’ll end up late to school and that will affect his grades and he won’t be able to swim and we’ll have a sad Haru on our hands which is just as pleasant as it sounds.

**Tachibana Makoto:** So weird as it was for him to take a cold shower in the summer since he can swim now, I thought he was doing it again today since he didn’t come when I called him.

**Tachibana Makoto:** So I went into his bathroom to get him to come out.

Wait what?

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** YOU WENT INTO HIS BATHROOM WHEN HE WAS TAKING A BATH!!??=!?

**Tachibana Makoto:** He always wear swimsuits okay.

**Yaku Morisuke:** Well how were we supposed to know that

**Yaku Morisuke:** That sentence of yours sounded so wrong Tachibana

Sugawara almost laughed at the frustration Makoto sent over in his next text.

**Tachibana Makoto:** It was either that or leave him to drown in his academic failures, alright. Just leave me to my storytelling.

**Tachibana Makoto:** So, when I went to get him out, a hand came out from the bath and grabbed my arm and there was a creepy voice saying ‘Ma-ko-chan’

**Tachibana Makoto:** LIKE IN A HORROR MOVIE

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Pfft

**Tachibana Makoto:** AND I FREAKED OUT OF COURSE I FREAKED OUT

**Tachibana Makoto:** ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT NAGISA CAME OUT SUDDENLY AND LOOKED AT ME FROM AN ANGLE THAT MADE ONLY ONE PINK EYE VISIBLE

**Tachibana Makoto:** HE WAS LIKE A GHOST

**Tachibana Makoto:** LIKE SADAKO

**Koushi:** Oh, wow.

Sugawara didn’t know whether to flinch or laugh. He himself wasn’t that easily spooked by horror movies and the like but Asahi and Daichi were and he saw what movies did to them. To have something like that happen in real life… That poor guy.

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Pink eye?

**Tachibana Makoto:** Yes, pink. WAIT WHY IS THAT YOUR CONCERN

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Weird.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** You should see the GoM’s eyes. They win this battle.

**Tachibana Makoto:** IT IS NOT A BATTLE

Seemingly ignoring, Makoto’s text, Sugawara laughed at Nijimura’s next reply.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** We’ve got someone with pink eyes too. Momoi has pink eyes AND hair

**Koushi:** My, that’s rare. But Shuzo, we should probably keep let Makoto continue his story.

**Tachibana Makoto:** Thank you, Koushi.

**Tachibana Makoto:** So, we went to school and everything but apparently, Nagisa was camping last night???

**Tachibana Makoto:** He set up a camp near Haru’s house and was ready to start a fire and everything

**Furihata Kouki:** A fire???

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** That’s what he said.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Please inform the small one that children should not play with fire.

**Tachibana Makoto:** and why would you even camp on a week day??? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WANT TO WATCH THE LEONIDS

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Those can’t be seen yet. It’s not their season.

**Tachibana Makoto:** WHEN THOSE ARE ONLY IN AUTUMN

**Tachibana Makoto:** Yes, Chihiro, Rei informed us.

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Dude, calm down.

Sugawara shrieked at a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Daichi. The volleyball captain looked a bit concerned but Suga brushed off his worries.

“A friend from Iwatobi High is having some friend problems. He’s a mother hen so he’s probably overreacting. I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

“Iwato- wait, that’s not important. Suga, the bell rang five minutes ago.”

What!? With a yelp, Suga quickly set his phone on silent and dumped it in his bag.

“DAICHI WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME??? WE’RE LATE!!!”

Suga thought he heard a laugh behind him as he ran off to class.

Once settled down in his seat, he looked at his watch.

Lunch wasn’t going to be over for another five minutes.

He cursed his captain aloud. (Much to said captain’s amusement.)

* * *

Practice ended with Sugawara turning on his phone to a freaking out Makoto.

**Tachibana Makoto:** He yelled at Rei

**Tachibana Makoto:** HE YELLED AT REI

**Tachibana Makoto:** GUYS I THINK MY SON IS SICK

Sugawara held back a snicker, only to hear what sounded suspiciously like Yamaguchi’s trademark giggle coming from not too far away, followed by a “Nothing, Tsukky!”

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Did you just call him your son?

Sugawara stopped, tilting his head slightly to the left as he thought of something. Daichi and Asahi, looked at him in confusion as he stopped walking.

He shook his head at them to signal that he was fine, “It’s the friend from Iwatobi again,” He said, despite the fact that Makoto’s Nagisa problem wasn’t what he was thinking of, “He’s really worried… Hold on, let me just reply…”

**Koushi:** Um… I’d hate to admit it but if you look at it properly… isn’t this group basically made of mum friends?

Deciding that it was rude to keep ignoring the other third years in favour of his phone, he put it in his pocket. Feeling the vibrations of incoming texts he wasn’t about to read until he arrived back home, as he laughed and joked with Daichi and Asahi.

* * *

**Nijimura Shuzo:** I am not a mum friend. I’m more like the dad friend. Momoi even called me that once.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** … I am not taking part in this conversation.

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Then Akashi is the mum friend right?

**Akaashi Keiji:** I’d rather not as well.

**Furihata Kouki:** Oh yeah, Aomine did call him mother during training camp right?

**Nijimura Shuzo:** What!?

Sugawara flinched as he read on. The basketball players in this group and their language.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** WHAT THE F*CK!?

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** I actually agree this time.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** What the f*ck?

**Nijimura Shuzo:** One, Akashi as the mum friend? Are you crazy!? NO

**Nijimura Shuzo:** Two, we all saw how well he reacted to the sudden increase in pressure back in middle school.

Like they could forget. Not long after Kuroko told Seirin about it, Furihata told them all. It was a quiet night for all the members of the chat. To think that someone who was younger than most of them had gone through something like that at his age.

_( **Furihata Kouki:** There are two Akashis and i’m not sure how i feel about this._

**_Nijimura Shuzo:_ ** _Two Akashis? Well, I guess if you count his dad._

**_Mayuzumi Chihiro:_ ** _I’m pretty sure there’s only one of my captain, thank you. We here at Rakuzan would be f*cked if there are more of him._

**_Tsuchida Satoshi:_ ** _You sure about telling them this Furihata? I’m not going to stop you but_

**_Furihata Kouki:_ ** _Sorry senpai i think i need to let this all out_

**_Furihata Kouki:_ ** _I feel kind of… confused right now_

**_Furihata Kouki:_ ** _So apparently, akashi used to be the kind person nijimura-san always compares him to_

**_Furihata Kouki:_ ** _But one day he suddenly changed after being put under stress and almost losing and kuroko confronted him and he said that he wasnt the akashi they knew but he was still akashi and there were two of them from the start_

**_Nijimura Shuzo:_ ** _What??_

**_Tachibana Makoto:_ ** _That… kind of sounds like Dissociative Identity Disorder…_

**_Mayuzumi Chihiro:_ ** _My captain?_

**_Mayuzumi Chihiro:_ ** _……_

**_Mayuzumi Chihiro:_ ** _Doesn’t matter. He’s still the little jerk who forced me to join the basketball club.)_

**Nijimura Shuzo:** And most importantly, those poor Miracles. Can u imagine having Akashi for a mum?? All the nagging. All the… all the Akashi-ness.

**Tachibana Makoto:** How did we even get to this topic

Nijimura was still in the middle of typing another message when Sugawara texted them, having read through all their texts already.

**Koushi:** Mayuzumi and Akaashi are spoil sports

**Koushi:** Oh but Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, and Yaku-san don’t get to run from this!!!

**Nijimura Shuzo:** Like can you even imagine all the pain they’kl have to go through? Clothes isnt a problem. The Akashi I know has horrible taste in clothes. But the other stff. Health and keepingwarm and food. All of that hell keep track off and theywould be in so much pain. He wont just be a mum he’ll be the naggy aunt and pushy uncle too and just. So much pain. So muhc. Hell be hated and have no forends and end up a lonely evil human who no one likes and be lonelyand friendless forever. And no one will like him and they’ll be eaten by the guilt of lettinghim end up like theat. I mean, imagine him showing up at kurokos school just because he sensesd kuroko wasn’t wearing enough alyers during winter. Or at aomines school because he was causeing traouble for momoi. Just imagine.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** That will never happen.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** And please calm down and type properly.

**Koushi:** Since you’re Karasuno’s VB club’s first year mum, second year mum, and Nekoma’s VB club’s mum.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** Imagine.

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Furihata-kun will faint.

**Furihata Kouki:** SENPAI

**Yaku Morisuke:** The fact that I can’t even deny this is frustrating.

**Tachibana Makoto:** Everyone, please calm your imaginations.

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Ah fine fine… Sugamama

**Nijimura Shuzo:** Ooh! That’s a good one!

**Yaku Morisuke:** Akaashi, aren’t you already like Bokuto’s mum.

**Koushi:** ENOUGH WITH THAT NICKNAME ALREADY

**Akaashi Keiji:** I prefer to think of him as a troublesome senpai or a pet rather than a son.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Harsh.

Really, there was no end to his amusement with this lot.

**Tachibana Makoto:** Guys he’s in my house

**Koushi:** Who?

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Nagisa-san? Maybe?

**Akaashi Keiji:** It probably is him.

**Tachibana Makoto:** Yes, Nagisa. And drop the honorific. It sounds weird with his name.

Like he just remembered that there was a cause for him to worry, Makoto’s all caps texting returned.

**Tachibana Makoto:** IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND HE IS IN MY HOUSE

**Tachibana Makoto:** Oh Haru appeared

**Tachibana Makoto:** I’ll update you all after we deal with this

There was a moment of silence before another message came.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** So… Haru-san is the dad friend?

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** It would seem so.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** For us it would be Daichi-san, right, Ennoshita-san?

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Yup! Sugamama and Dadchi~

**Koushi:** Enough already you two!

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Yeah…

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Sugamama and Sawapapa sounds better.

**Koushi:** Stop.

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Pffft

**Tachibana Makoto:** He ran away from home

**Nijimura Shuzo:** So he went to stay with mum and dad?

**Tachibana Makoto:** ENOUGH WITH THE PARENT JOKES ALREADY

**Furihata Kouki:** Did he say why he ran away?

**Tachibana Makoto:** He refuses to… I’m going to go ask him now.

**Tsuchida Satoshi:** Good luck!

**Koushi:** G’luck~

**Tachibana Makoto:** OH MY GOSH MY POOR SON

**Koushi:** What happened?

**Akaashi Keiji:** Stop calling him your son. Seriously, it’s creepy.

**Tachibana Makoto:** HIS PARENTS ARE FORCING HIM TO GO TO THE SUPERCONTINENT OF PANGAEA

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** Um… Makoto-san…

**Koushi:** He’s obviously pulling your leg Makoto

**Tachibana Makoto:** Are you calling my Nagisa a liar???

**Furihata Kouki:** …. Makoto-san is a very overprotective parent.

**Tachibana Makoto:** GUYS WE HAVE TO HELP HIM

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Pangaea doesn’t exist.

**Tachibana Makoto:** It doesn’t?

**Tachibana Makoto:** Oh yeah. Rei just said the same thing hahahah

**Tachibana Makoto:** Haru’s taking a turn

**Nijimura Shuzo:** Maybe dad will be better at this.

**Tachibana Makoto:** HE LET NAGISA BRIBE HIM WITH MACKEREL

**Nijimura Shuzo:** … What unreliable parents

**Tachibana Makoto:** SHUZO ENOUGH

Was he trying to dig his own grave today?

**Tachibana Makoto:** Rei’s trying now

**Ennoshita Chikara:** What is Rei-san?

**Furihata Kouki:** The big brother maybe?

**Tachibana Makoto:** The smart idiot who thinks this is a case and there’s a perpetrator.

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Oh.

**Furihata Kouki:** Oh

Sugawara smiled, giving his phone a small smile before turning it off to charge it. He turned to away from it and looked down at his table, fully trusting that Makoto and his team would be able to solve this. For now, there was homework to be done.

Lots of homework.

Taking a pen, he began to puzzle over the Maths questions his teacher gave him.

Halfway through his homework, he put down his pen, turning to his phone and turning off the charger. It should be nearly full anyway.

Much to his surprise, there hasn’t been any update to the chat in the past nearly two hours. Suddenly worried, he sent them a text.

**Koushi:** Makoto, is everything fine now?

After twenty minutes of silence from his phone as he continued on his homework, his worry grew and he sent another one.

**Koushi:** Makoto?

Deciding that that was enough, he put down his phone after setting the sound as high as it would go. He went back to his homework. His concentration was disturbed now and he stole plenty of glances at his phone.

Luckily, he didn’t need to wait too long for a reply. Relief filled him when he read the replies Makoto sent.

**Tachibana Makoto:** Sorry

**Tachibana Makoto:** Nagisa’s mum was heading our way so we ran off to the swimming club

**Tachibana Makoto:** It was about his grades and quitting the swim team so we couldn’t not help him. He looked so sad that I wanted to cry.

**Tachibana Makoto:** We’ve handled it now but somehow that involved Nagisa yelling out his feelings at Ama-chan-sensei

**Tachibana Makoto:** Ama-chan-sensei offered to help us out if talking to his parents doesn’t work out. It did but her support is still greatly appreciated.

Sugawara couldn’t help but smile as he typed in a reply.

**Koushi:** Ah… that’s good.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** That’s good…

**Mayuzumi Chihiro:** Congrats on figuring it out.

Just when Sugawara was going to put down his phone again to finish his work, it gave another ring.

**Nijimura Shuzo:** So… Ama-chan-sensei is the true mum friend?

He groaned. Of course. Of course. He might have been the one who started it but come on. The reply he next sent was tapped out without hesitation, and even before he sent it he could hear the other member’s snickers. But it was a text he had to send.

**Koushi:** NIJIMURA CUT IT OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwaa~ I nearly forgot to post this today hahaha
> 
> About Suga's contacts... Well, I kind of feel he's like one of my friends who has to have people's full names (facebook style eg. Aminah Ali) in their contacts. Writing them all that way was tiring though... and I kept writing Tsuchida's name as Tsuchida Sousuke for some reason but eh I probably fixed that.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it~


	3. In Which Makoto is in Distress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes were made and Makoto ends up in the Generation of Miracles's chat.  
> Shuzo refused to take his juniors back.  
> What even was his life.

Makoto absolutely didn’t expect what happened on Monday afternoon. He was just about to head back into the classroom after lunch. He had expected it to be from that group Koushi made a few months back since they were the only ones who ever texted him during lunch. But it wasn’t that.

In fact, it was from a new group chat. The furthest from that last one he could have ever imagined.

He didn’t even know anyone in this group.

_******* created group ‘Generation of Rainbows’_

_******* added Makoto_

*********:** Is that Nijimura-senpai?

 *********:** Yes.

Shuzo was here too? Oh, good. He could explain to them then.

 ********:** NIJIMURA SENPAAAAAAAAAAAAAI

This one kind of sounded like that Kise the basketball guys talked about.

 *********:** Hello.

 *******:** Oh come on

 *******:** Akashi why

Ah, so it was Chihiro’s captain who added him in. Makoto hummed as he checked everyone in the group, waiting for Shuzo to answer them.

 *********:** Murachin hi

Wait, Shuzo wasn’t in this list.

 **********:** Hello, senpai.

Oh… sh*t. They thought he was Shuzo.

He tentatively wrote them back.

 **Makoto:** Um… hi.

The group quieted down after that, and Makoto immediately started texting the other group. If he was right then that group was made up of Shuzo’s juniors, basketball’s Generation of Miracles. They thought he was Shuzo and added Makoto into the group by mistake. That was fine. Shuzo could fix this.

 **Makoto:** Shuzo

 **Shuzo:** What

 **Makoto:** I have been put into the wrong group chat

 **Makoto:** They all think I’m you

 **Shuzo:** Wait what group chat is this

 **Makoto:** Generation of Rainbows

 **Chihiro:** What

 **Kouki:** Is that

 **Shuzo:** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **Shuzo:** TEPPEI THANK YOU I LOVE YOU MAN

 **Satoshi:** It actually is the Generation of Miracles’s group chat isn’t it oh my gosh

 **Chihiro:** Good luck

 **Shuzo:** Okay, recap to who’s who for you Tachibana. Akashi’s the red scissors guy, Midorima is the green horoscope-obsessed carrot, Murasakibara is the purple titan, Aomine’s the blue ganguro, Momoi is my pink daughter, and Kuroko is the pokerfaced ghost.

At that point, Makoto took a peek at the other group chat. Then immediately paled and sent another text.

 **Makoto:** These guys are insane please help me

 **Koushi:** I thought we were done with the parent friend thing.

 **Shuzo:** IF SHE IS MY DAUGHTER THEN SHE IS MY DAUGHTER DON’T FIGHT ME SUGA

 **Shuzo:** Oh, and you’ll be fine~

 **Shuzo:** Just act like me

 **Satoshi:** Wait, why were you thanking Kiyoshi?

There was no answer. It wasn’t that he thought badly of Shuzo – he was quite interesting and seemed like a nice fellow – but, after the sudden silence from said person, he was beginning to suspect that someone asked Seirin’s Kiyoshi Teppei for Shuzo’s number. Somehow, he must have convinced him to give that person Makoto’s number instead. One thing must have led to another and it ended with this.

Of course, he had to be the victim.

Well. He’ll let Shuzo get away with it this time and not tell his juniors that they hd the wrong number.

For now, his first concern was to name these Miracles he’s heard so much about. He wasn’t really fond of calling people by their family names, and saving their contacts by their given names seemed overly familiar. Wait, what did Shuzo say? Act like him?

Well, he did see the way Shuzo saved their contacts through screenshots he sent sometimes.

He could do that.

With a small smirk, he started saving numbers based on their profile pictures, what he knew about them and the things they answered to.

* * *

Curse Shuzo.

Curse him and his rainbow-coloured juniors.

It’s only been five days since the group chat and he already regretted every single decision he’s ever made.

Hearing the notification for what he’s started to call the Miragen group, Makoto groaned.

 **Golden Retriever:** Guys so you know I have this blog where people can ask for advice from their favourite characters.

Wait, what?

 **Basketball Ghost:** Kise-kun, please, find a life.

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** Kise, do find a more useful thing to do with your time.

Makoto actually agreed with the first-year captain this time.

 **Annoying Blue:** THAT’S SO LAME HAHAHA

 **Silent Reader:** Your grades need the time you’re using on this.

 **Golden Retriever:** So mean.

 **Golden Retriever:** Anyway, man, these people have problems.

 **Golden Retriever:** There’s this one guy from Tokyo who has a captain that acts like a kid.

Was it necessary for him to convey other people’s misery? That seemed cruel/

 **Golden Retriever:** He calls him an owl because he likes to hoot and goes hey hey hey.

That… actually sounded familiar… Something Keiji would say about Fukurodani’s captain.

 **Expanding Violet:** Kisechin we don’t want to know this

No, Makoto actually did want to know about this now.

 **Golden Retriever:** They’re apparently best friends but he can’t even pronounce his name right.

Totally Keiji.

 **Golden Retriever:** He yells all the time and

 **Golden Retriever:** I am glad we don’t have senpai like this

 **Silent Reader:** We do.

Twice in one day by Midorima Shintaro, that was a new record.

 **Basketball Ghost:** Just less childish.

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** I’d say one of mine is quite similar to that character you described.

Makoto bit his lip, unsure if he wanted to ask or not. In the end, he typed up a question and sent it

 **Makoto:** Um… out of curiousity, who did he ask for advice from?

 **Golden Retriever:** Hoshizora Rin~

 **Shuzo’s Daughter:** Wait- wasn’t she from-Ki-chan, you run a Love Live blog???

 **Annoying Blue:** Can we disown him?

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** I’m afraid we cannot.

 **Golden Retriever:** Stop being so mean!

Recognising that whatever that was just now was done, Makoto went to the other group chat and quickly typed something up.

 **Makoto:** Keiji, why are you asking for advice from Hoshizora Rin?

 **Morisuke:** What

 **Keiji:** howdidyou

 **Makoto:** In a blog run by a miragen

 **Shuzo:** HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD WHO IS IT

 **Shuzo:** ITS KISE ISNT IT

 **Morisuke:** Akaashi I’m disowning you.

 **Koushi:** WHY ARE YOU GOING TO HIM YOU HAVE US WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US

 **Shuzo:** IT HAS TO BE HIM

 **Chikara:** Akaashi… I’m sorry, please bear with this.

 **Makoto:** Shuzo remove me from this group

 **Chihiro:** Well… that’s unexpected….

 **Makoto:** They’re a mess

 **Satoshi:** Aren’t we all?

 **Keiji:** I hate you all.

* * *

Hm… The Miragen’s group ring tone was getting quite familiar.

Halfway through his second week being part of Shuzo’s Miragen’s chat, Makoto almost found himself smiling that one time he was looking through their messages. They did have their cute side after all.

 **Expanding Violet:** Kurochin, murochin sayd that there arelimited edition snacka comeing out in Tokyo

 **Expanding Violet:** Buy them fro me

 **Basketball Ghost:** Ah, the vanilla matcha flavoured maiubo?

 **Expanding Violet:** Yes

 **Basketball Ghost:** I was planning to get those anyway. I’ll be sure to send you some when I get them.

Makoto smiled as he remembered that Satoshi once commented on their passing expert’s almost unhealthy love of vanilla.

 **Expanding Violet:** Thankyou Kurochin

 **Annoying Blue:** Those actually sound normal

 **Golden Retriever:** Murasakicchi does this mean you’re finally, finally going to have normal taste in food???

 **Basketball Ghost:** Oh, it appears that these come with yogurt-mint potato chips. I’ll send them to you, Murasakibara-kun.

Wait what?

 **Expanding Violet:** Yaaaay

 **Annoying Blue:** That sounds disgusting

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** Kuroko, I would recommend that you don’t encourage him too much

 **Expanding Violet:** Midochin will you get those turmeric flavoured jelly beans I asked for last time too

Okay, he was starting to feel sick.

 **Silent Reader:** I refuse

Makoto switched.

 **Makoto:** HOW COULD SOMEONE EAT THE STUFF THIS VIOLET PERSON DOES

 **Shuzo:** Murasakibara has a stomach of steel

 **Chihiro:** Watching him eat makes me sick

 **Kouki:** His eating habits are terrifying.

 **Satoshi:** Now, now, Furihata. We must remember that he gets along with Kuroko. We musn’t mock our teammate’s friend too much.

 **Makoto:** Your Kuroko is the one feeding him

 **Satoshi:** He has betrayed us

A few minutes after, when the subject of the Miragen’s conversation seemed to have changed (like it did every other time,) Makoto switched back to read their messages.

 **Expanding Violet:** Looking at Gamichin’s eyebrows make me hungry.

 **Basketball Ghost:** Oh? Why is that?

 **Expanding Violet:** They look like rabbit apples

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** Now, now. We musn’t be rude.

 **Golden Retriever:** HAHAHA THAT IS SO TRUE

 **Annoying Blue:** I’m totally calling him bunnybrows next tiem

 **Shuzo’s Daughter:** DAI-CHAN

Okay….? That was just strange.

 **Makoto:** What kind of pitiful eyebrows does this Kagami have

 **Kouki:** Split ones

 **Satoshi:** We don’t know what happened to them

 **Kouki:** Here’s a picture.

The image sent showed a muscular guy with two-toned red hair and wearing a black shirt. His eyes were red and he might have looked intimidating if he wasn’t showing a peace sign at the camera and grinning with a luminescent brightness that rivalled even Nagisa’s with its intensity.

Most importantly, he had thick eyebrows that were split in two.

There was only one thing Makoto could think.

 **Makoto:** Huh, they do look like an apple rabbit

 **Satoshi:** What????

 **Tadashi:** I agree but where did that come from, Tachibana-san?

 **Makoto:** Murasakibara. Anyway, how did he get them like that

 **Kouki:** We have no idea 

* * *

When he woke up to his phone singing and vibrating the Miragen’s notification sound over and over again in the middle of the night, Makoto buried his head in his pillow and screamed. He regretted it.

He regretted letting Shuzo get away with this.

He regretted every single decision he’s ever made.

He regretted life.

Makoto groaned and rolled over, right hand reaching for his phone.

Might as well get this over with.

 **Golden Retriever:** Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys

 **Golden Retriever:** I can’t sleep

 **Golden Retriever:** So I found this site called Pottermore

 _‘D*mn you, Kise,’_ Makoto thought as he read on. Harry Potter was a sacred topic. No one could ignore Harry Potter. Especially not if he started talking about houses. And last he checked, that was the only interesting part of the new Pottermore, so most likely, he was going to talk of houses. Makoto wished he could tell the copycat to boil his pretty model face in a cauldron.

 **Golden Retriever:** And it’s actually really cool

 **Golden Retriever:** The quiz part is at least. It isn’t really cool other than that. The information and stuff are booooooooooring

 **Basketball Ghost:** Kise kun

 **Basketball Ghost:** Please quiet doawn

 **Basketball Ghost:** Qwew sleeping

That was… quite a lot of typos. He must have just woke up. Makoto took a screenshot to commemorate the event.

 **Golden Retriever:** KUROKOCCHIIIIIII I’m sorry did I wake you???

 **Basketball Ghost:** Yea

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** He wasn’t the only one you woke

 **Expanding Violet:** Kisechin shut uppppp

 **Basketball Ghost:** Reallu what kind of Hugglepuff bothers peoplr at this hour of the night

Makoto nodded, agreeing. As a Hufflepuff, he would be the first to admit that he would not trouble people at two am like Kise was doing.

 **Golden Retriever:** Who’s a Hufflepuff???

 **Golden Retriever:** Are you saying I’m a Hufflepuff???

Oh, he wasn’t one. That explains it.

 **Golden Retriever:** Kurokocchi that’s rude

 **Golden Retriever:** I’m Slytherin

 **Basketball Ghost:** Kise-kun, you’re joking right?

 **Golden Retriever:** No. I’m a Slytherin~~~

 **Expanding Violet:** Che. Having Kisechin in my house sounds annoying.

 **Golden Retriever:** Ehhh no way

 **Golden Retriever:** I’m in the same house as Murasakicchi?????

 **Golden Retriever:** Nooooooo

 **Basketball Ghost:** Well, Akashi-kun is in there as well

 **Shuzo’s Daughter:** Tetsu-kun, I don’t think Akashi-kun is a Slytherin

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** I’m a Gryffindor, actually.

 **Golden Retriever:** Okay, that’s a lie.

 **Silent Reader:** Akashi, it would do well for you not to assume you are a Gryffindor simply because you’re ‘aka’.

 **Basketball Ghost:** I can see it actually, I shouldn’t have been presumptuous.

 **Basketball Ghost:** I apologise.

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** It’s fine. The two houses are quite similar.

 **Basketball Ghost:** I can also see Midorima-kun in Hufflepuff

 **Golden Retriever:** What are you talking about Kurokocchi

 **Golden Retriever:** Midorimacchi is obviously Ravenclaw

 **Silent Reader:** Correct, Kuroko.

 **Golden Retriever:** WHAT

 **Silent Reader:** As expected of Kuroko. Observant as always. You are as well, if I’m not mistaken.

 **Basketball Ghost:** Thank you, Midorima-kun.

 **Basketball Ghost:** And yes, I am

 **Golden Retriever:** Hey, hey, what about Aominecchi????

 **Basketball Ghost:** I would say Gryffindor or Slytherin for Aomine-kun but those don’t seem quite right.

 **Shuzo’s Daughter:** Dai-chan and I are in Ravenclaw~

 **Golden Retriever:** What

 **Silent Reader:** That cannot be true.

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** I can see it for Momoi but my, that’s unexpected of Aomine.

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** Oh, but he does have his knowledge of basketball, and he is quite street smart.

 **Silent Reader:** Ah, I see. Wisdom isn’t only in the books.

 **Golden Retriever:** Still…..

 **Annoying Blue:** GO TO SLEEP

They ignored him.

 **Golden Retriever:** What about senpai?

 **Basketball Ghost:** Gryffindor, I suppose.

Well, that sounded like the house Shuzo would be in.

 **Makoto:** That’s correct.

 **Annoying Blue:** WHAT THE F*CK WHY CAN’T YOU ALL SHUT UP GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP

There was a few minutes of silence in which Makoto nearly dozed off. Then-

 **Basketball Ghost:** By the way, Kagami-kun is in Gryffindor

 **Golden Retriever:** We all know

Conversation started again. Makoto groaned.

 **Makoto:** It’s 2 am and they’re discussing Hogwarts houses.

 **Shuzo:** Oooh

 **Shuzo:** What are they??

 **Shuzo:** I bet Akashi’s a Slytherin

 **Makoto:** Kuroko and Midorima are Hufflepuff

 **Makoto:** Kise and Murasakibara are slytherin

 **Shuzo:** What

 **Makoto:** Aomine and Momoi are Rabenclaw

 **Shuzo:** What is this

 **Makoto:** Akashi and Kagami are Gryffindor

 **Shuzo:** OH MY GOD

 **Makoto:** I’m going to bed now but Shuzo

 **Shuzo:** Yes?

 **Makoto:** Have I ever told you I hate yowu?

 **Shuzo:** Only a thousand times since Akashi added you into the group

 **Makoto:** Well heres one more

 **Makoto:** I hate you

He threw his phone across the room, rolled over in bed, and fell asleep. 

* * *

The third week of his Miragen era, on his way to the swimming pool with Haruka, a text came. He checked his phone to see a message that nearly made him dance. With that message, he could finally celebrate. His solace has come. A way for him to leave without having to outright announce to Akashi that he was given the wrong number. A way that he could have Shuzo in this group chat without going to Akashi and giving him his number.

 **Silent Reader:** Akashi, I’ve just remembered. Wasn’t the point of adding Nijimura-senpai to make him the admin?

Makoto did a fist-pump. (Haruka was confused)

 **Chihiro’s Captain:** Oh, yes. It must have slipped my mind.

_Chihiro’s captain has made Makoto an admin_

Forget his dignity, this was victory.

Much to Haruka’s chargin, Makoto screamed with joy and wrapped Haruka in a quick hug. He immediately let go less than a second later to type out his happiness. His victory.

 **Makoto:** OH MY GOD YES

 **Makoto:** YESSSS

_Makoto changed subject to ‘Niji’s Miragens’_

_Makoto has added Shuzo into the group chat_

**Shuzo:** TACHIBANA WHY

 **Makoto:** SHUZO HAVE YOUR CRAZY JUNIORS I’M LEAVING

Perhaps the little giggles Makoto was emitting as he typed disturbed Haruka. If he found it unnerving, he didn’t say. He only walked on with his best friend, making sure he didn’t trip or bump into anything as he kept playing with his phone.

 **Golden Retriever:** Senpai?

 **Shuzo:** TACHIBANA WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

 **Makoto:** Kise-san, I am not your senpai, I don’t even play basketball. I SWIM

 **Shuzo:** I EVEN GOT TEPPEI TO GIVE THEM YOUR NUMBER I PAID HIM FOR THAT

 **Makoto:** That. THAT IS NIJIMURA SHUZO

 **Shuzo:** ALL MY SKITTLES ARE GONE

 **Makoto:** I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOLD YOUR FRIEND TO GIVE THEM MY NUMBER I HATE YOU

 **Makoto:** AND YOU EVEN PAID HIM WITH FOOD HOW DARE YOU

 **Shuzo:** TACHIBANA DON’T LEAVE ME HERE

 **Makoto:** Shuzo

 **Makoto:** Once again, I hate you

Hearing screams (Rei in distress, Nagisa yelling out one of his ‘brilliant’ ideas) coming from the direction of the swimming pool, Makoto typed on without thinking.

 **Makoto:** Now if you excuse me, I have to stop Nagisa from shaving Rei

 **Shuzo:** QAQ

 **Shuzo:** Don’t do this to me please

 **Makoto:** Goodbye

_( **Kise:** Shaving….?            _

**_Aomine:_ ** _What just happened_

**_Akashi:_ ** _Nijimura-senpai, I believe you have some explaining to do.)_

After practice ended, Makoto checked his phone to only a single message in the supposedly sane group. It was directed to him.

 **Shuzo:** Makoto, I hate you.

Needless to say, he laughed.

 **Makoto:** Love you too~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY FINIIIIIIIIIIISHED  
> Okay, I'm gonna go watch one episode of Shonen Hollywood now.  
> And maybe work on that HaruYachi thing I've been planning on.
> 
> Oh and,  
> Bunnybrows Kagami should be a thing  
> I will fight (argue really, or maybe discuss. I'm weak) you on those Hogwarts houses. (That's just my opinion tho)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I'm idealess for this story.
> 
> I'm accepting requests. I don't do romance and I would very much like to keep this Gen but I will accept suggestions and requests for new chapters of this fic. (If you want something other than that, it'll take a thousand years for me to finish but sure, I'll consider.)
> 
> So far I have two chapters planned as of titled below:-  
> 1\. In Which Yamaguchi Complains and Nijimura Sympathises  
> 2\. In Which Tsuchida Screams and Akaashi is Relieved


End file.
